*cracks an egg on my head* *a lemon falls out* What a time to be alive
what the fuck does this post even mean
wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
some highlights ok ill stop talking about it now it was just so funny omg
Oh Bruce. You kill me, buddy.
YOU WANNA GO??? YOU WANNA GO??? WHERE DO YOU WANNA GO??? I HAVE A GPS IN MY CAR